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Can animals miscegenate? A computer scientist known as "Mad Matt", A homely young fellow named Fritz There once was a girl named Carrie, My climaxes were retrograde. The jury convicted poor Dolly What is love between man and a cat? An ignorant maiden named Crewe-Pitt, Take for exampe the dude There was a young lad named Sutton, A gander once gave quite a goose A damsel in Kalamazoo There once was a girl from Poughkeepsie A girl who while slightly besotted, A brash young explorer named Kay, My climaxes were retrograde. I'm blushing, for all who can see; I got in the mail just today Have you seen the "Globe?" Oh, my Hell! You've fallen for a tired yarn Are you sure that there is nothing more? That guy! He's done it now! I'm tying him up in a knot The behavior that seemed to produce Dave Miller's anthro-cetacean Lavinia Jane from Four Marks, They say that the gray, bug-eyed aliens There was a young lady of Niger, The rays from the moon, Billy lad, I once knew a fellow named Jake, When his left ball swelled up twice its size, Jake's peter turned three shades of blue, And screwing is just what they did, When the boy was still really quite young, I hope you don't think me a tattle, There once was a girl up the street There was a young lady from Leeper, A broken-down harlot named Tupps, There was a young lady from Teal, A zoologist's daughter in Ewing, The girl replied, quick as a wink, There was a young lady, Miss Rhodes, There was a young lady named Myrtle, Cold nights, we take sheep to our beds, Said, Leda, in love with a swan, There was an old man of Gilhooley A degraded low-lifer named Scruggs There was a young man from Dundee, There was a man named McKeever, (The result of this rape, was a canvasback drake)
The herder who hailed from Terre haute A man who was feeling his oats, There was a young man from Peru, (Who was hard up for something to do, Published 1879)
There once was a man of Belfast There once was a man from Geneva, A sailor indulged in coitus (cetus spp. - whales)
Before World War I, in a brig, An Indian squaw on the loose There once was a woman quite fair There once was a creature named Lee, Said Mendel, "Genetics are cute, A snake charmer from Mauna Loa A gorilla, the king of the roarers, You now will have to go to court A playful and daring young otter There was a young lady named Gish, The aliens abducted from Barton,
The zebra? Did two colors mate?
And did the wolf and snake
Four legs/no legs -- love make,
And thus a two-legged thing create?
--- Irving Superior P8911
Crying "Genetics is where it's all at",
Crossed a Ford Veep he knew
With a mammal that flew,
And wound up with an auto.exec.bat.
--- Cyber Geezer
Fell deeply in love with a spitz;
Their offspring were strong
But barked all day long,
And gave most his relatives fits.
--- Armand E Singer 340
Who left for camp with her cherry.
But she met a beagle,
Who took her spreadeagle;
Her son is real short and quite hairy.
--- Lewis a
I injected bull semen so staid.
It worked out well for us.
The kid is a Taurus,
And as well a million buck babe.
Of a crime they called sexual folly.
Though she proved that her rape
Was performed by an ape,
What she bore looked much more like a collie.
--- Lims For Year - 01
Is anything simpler than that?
He started to mate her,
And just three months later,
They proudly gave birth to a rat.
--- Heather McCabe
Did something amazingly stupid.
When her lover had spent,
She douched with cement,
And gave birth to a statue of Cupid.
--- L1392
Who stuck in his pecker and spewed
His load in the twat
Of Bessie and got
A cud-chewing cowboy that mooed.
--- Travis Brasell
Who said, as he carved up the mutton,
"My father preferred
The last sheep in the herd,
This is one of his children I'm cuttin'."
--- L0652
To young Minnehaha's caboose.
It made Hiawath-
A at the mouth froth,
When she bore a nice feathered papoose.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Found sexual affairs far too few.
So in wanton folly
She seduced a big collie...
And today her first litter is due.
--- Grand Prix Lim 144 G1262
Who was screwed by a gnu while tipsy.
The results of this deed
Were a large hairy steed
And a fiddling A and P gypsy.
--- Bob Giandomenico P8912
In a zucchini patch blithly squatted.
Nine months later, by gosh,
She gave birth to a squash
And several house plants that were potted.
--- Bob Giandomenico P8912a
Strode forth in the jungle one day.
There she met a gorilla
The size of Godzilla;
(She's now in a family way).
--- Armand E Singer 853
I injected bull-semen unweighed.
It worked out well for us;
The kid was a Taurus
And in Macy's Christmas parade.
--- Temujin
I'm father to that chimpanzee.
His mum was a slut
And I screwed her - but
That chimp made a monkey of me!
--- Anon
(You know what I'm going to say)
Subpoena from LA Zoo,
Now I'm in the poo;
The maintenance I've got to pay!
--- Anon
There's a babe and mom we know so well.
"Calf with human head
Found in Texas shed.
Dad is some guy from A.J.L."
--- Marlene Lewis
That spread by reporters who garn-
er outrageous tales
To bolster their sales.
I've been nowhere near Bessie's Barn.
--- Frank Fazed
Another lawsuit would be such a bore,
For you simply may
Be asked again to pay
For this bastard and one fathered before.
--- Ericka
He's made me real angry. Know How?
He has been untrue.
Someday he will rue
That he's been with old Bessie, the cow.
--- Marlene Lewis
Till I find out what he has caught.
If it's scabies or bangs,
I'll see that he hangs,
Beside all the rest that forgot.
--- Marlene Lewis
An unusual looking papoose,
Was an Indian maid,
Who they said had been laid
By a highly enamorous moose.
--- Cap'n Bean P0010
Reminds one that Carroll's creation:
Odob'nus rosmarus
The whale-horse or Walrus,
With Carpenters made conversation.
Loved playing with dogs in the parks.
Don't know what she did,
But she now has a kid,
Who's covered with hair and who barks.
--- Anon
Are mixing with human mammalians.
Mammalicity's what
The creatures have sought,
For breeding the tots called humaliens.
--- Silvia S Crockett P0104
Who had an affair with a tiger.
The result of the fuck
Was a bald-headed duck,
Two gnats and a circumcised spider.
--- Penguin Dictionary P2005
Have finally driven you mad;
It won't beggar belief
That a unicorn thief,
Would then be most likely your Dad.
--- Anon
Who stepped on a large rattlesnake.
You could hear his loud calls
When the snake bit his balls;
'Twas more than a grown man could take.
--- Bob Birch P0302
Jake couldn't believe his own eyes.
And his right one turned green...
The sight was obscene,
And attracted a large swarm of flies.
--- Bob Birch P0302
And his wife asked "Now what shall we do?"
Said Jake, with a grin
"Let me stick my dick in,
And I promise a colorful screw."
--- Bob Birch P0302
With passion that neither one hid.
Nine months from the day
Of that colorful lay,
Jake's young wife gave birth to a kid.
--- Bob Birch P0302
This is file dgl
They discovered his long, forked tongue,
And it was hard to miss,
The kid's sinister hiss,
Whenever the telephone rung.
--- Bob Birch P0302
But this kid could cause panic in cattle.
Though the thought is not nice,
He would swallow up mice,
And fell deeply in love with his rattle.
--- Bob Birch P0302
Who really was into white sheep.
On her lawn, they would graze
To the neighbor's amaze,
And her babies, when born, they did bleat.
--- Pooh a
Who was raped by an ape in her sleeper.
When nine months were through,
She called up the zoo,
And gave the results to the keeper.
--- Grand Prix Lim 664 G1270
Was heard to confess in her cups:
"The height of my folly,
Was fucking a collie--
But I got a good price for the pups."
--- L0657
Who was raped in the lake by an eel.
One morning at dawn,
She gave birth to a prawn,
Two crabs, and a small baby seal.
--- L0654
Gave birth to a bottle of bluing.
Her father said, "Flo,
What I want to know,
Isn't whether, but what you've been screwing.
--- L1665
"My child isn't bluing, it's ink",
The professor said, "Ah,
Then, no doubt its papa,
Is the squid that I keep in the sink."
--- L1666
Who sinned in unusual modes.
At the height of her fame,
She abruptly became
The mother of four dozen toads.
--- L0635
Who had an affair with a turtle.
She had crabs, so they say,
In nine months and a day,
Which proves that the turtle was fertile.
--- Anon L0622
For their warmth, unlike our Cousin Jeds,
Who squished too much goo
Up his favourite ewe,
Which accounts for that lamb with two heads.
--- Anon
"He's better than any old John.
Perhaps we'll beget
A little cygnet,
As reward for such carryings-on."
--- John Miller
Who buggered three sheep with his toolie.
All his offspring looked strange,
Eat their meals on the range,
Walk upright, but are terribly woolie.
--- Vassar Smith P9807a
Kept a menage-a-trois with two pugs; (dogs not pugilists)
Now the sex was real torrid,
But the offspring: low forehead,
Shaggy muzzle, plus multiple dugs.
--- Armand Singer P0307
Who buggered an ape in a tree.
The result was most horrid,
All ass and no forehead,
Blue balls and a purple goatee.
--- Algernon C Swinburn L0595
Who had an affair with a beaver.
The result of this fuck,
Was a canvasback duck,
Two canoes and an Irish retriever.
--- Jim McWilliam
Fell in love with a young nanny goat.
The daughter he sired
Was greatly admired
For her beautiful angora coat.
--- Anon
Made love to one of his goats.
And after he did,
The goat had a kid.
Now from prison he writes her love notes.
--- Anon
Who, one day when he had nothing to do,
He pulled out his carrot,
And buggered a parrot,
And sent the result to the zoo.
--- Norman Douglas L0630P
Whose balls out of iron were cast.
He'd managed somehow
To bugger a sow,
Thus you get pig-iron, at last.
--- L0578
Who buggered a black bitch retriever.
The result was a sow,
Two horses, a cow,
Three lambs and a London coal-heaver.
--- L0604
With a cow of the genus of Cetus.
Piscatologists thundered,
Biologists wondered,
At the anchor tattooed on the foetus.
--- L0588
A man fell in love with a pig.
The two had communion;
The result of that union
Would be named Adolf Hitler, you dig?
--- Actaeon
Was ravished one day by a moose.
But what is much worse,
She now has to nurse
A four-footed horny papoose.
--- Hugh Oliver 118ca
Who had more than her fair share of hair.
It is often recalled
That her father was bald,
But her mother, you see, was a bear.
--- Joe Thompson
Who sobbed, "Do not photograph me;
I also reject
All things that reflect;
My mom was the maid from Dundee."
--- Ed Potts P8507
And I've just created a beaut.
I put a frog in a sack
With a political hack,
and got me a Newt in a suit."
--- Vertech Limerick Contest
Once had an affair with her boa...
What came out at the birth
Sure created no mirth...
So she sleeps with her boa no moa.
--- Grand Prix Lim 331
Told his mate, "Keep away from explorers.
If they like sex like we do,
They'll be after you...
And I don't want some half-human horrors."
--- Grand Prix Lim 219
In order to collect child support,
From one quite bald
Who filled the vault
Of Bessie while having some sport.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Made love to a girl in the water.
She squealed with delight
And stayed through the night
And she bore him a son and a daughter.
--- Actaeon
Who was filled with a passion for fish.
Five minutes of lovin'
But a bun in her oven,
And she gave birth to a platter of squish.
--- G1243
Young Melanie, (built like Dol Parton,)
They screwed her, and that's
Why she's three squawling brats:
One purple, one green and one tartan.
--- Anon
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8Feb19