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A conjecture both deep and profound A conformal mapper named Dave I've been told that topologists go nuts; In finite dimensional space, When called on to color a graph, (John Elwin)
I'm fearful my minds out of whack, There was a young man of St. Paul Any mathematician I'll throttle One Klein bottle left on the wall; A mathematician named Klein, A contortionist let her act slip, Dr Klein, the topologist, thought "I'll "Klein's bottle," said one who's knowing, Yes, he screwed her, but under great tension: Said map-makers, hiding their gratitude As a callow youth he was no satyr, When M's a complete metric space, If you ever find you're enshrined Max Clime was a lover so slick, Those male dancers so slim of hips, A mathematician confided, A burlesque dancer, a pip, A topologist's mind came unguided The Moebius family did trip, "The Nature of Space-time" was written A cube in the fourth dimension In your figure 6, it is said, (Charles Musgrave and Editor Mathematical Intelligencer)
Is the trivial knot not a knot? There once was a mathematician, A topology gal sewed her slip What happened to dear Santa Claus? Now everyone knows what's a torus -- The snatch of a lady named Doris A mathematician named Rube Cartographer Ed was unflappable A dentist named Doctor McGraw, A dental team, Alfred and Joe -- Our dentist was Lieutenant Fental There was a young lady named Prentice A terrible toothache had Rackshun; A girl who was born an Aquarius I am a young dentist from Berkeley My dentist's just pulled out that tooth; A dentist by the name of Bill Greer There was a young dentist who thrilled Said a stuttering dentist named Keith, A dentist whose mind was distracted There was an old dentist named Frindem, A considerate dentist named Matt There was a young dentist named Trevor, A dentist residing in Rhyll A dentist named Archibald Moss He's my Dental Hygiene star prince. The dentist, with pride was so full, This dentist from England's quite willing An exciting young dentist of Billings "Well now," said the dentist named Shutes, The dentures produced by Doc Sloan There was an old dentist named Jake "Open wide," said the dentist named Chase, It is said, with appropriate gravity, An oversexed woman was thrilled Our dentist, well known for his suavity, Big Danny was famous for filling Her Dentist used gas before drilling. There was a young dentist of Nome,
Is whether the circle is round;
In a paper by Erdos,
Written in Kurdish,
A counter example is found.
--- Leo Mosher
Keeps maps and domains in his cave,
And so their interiors
And limit superiors
Stay fresh and are nicely behaved.
--- Literary Group
Dr. Moebius answered me, "Oh, nuts!
Just because I can't see
What the difference could be
'Tween these coffeecups here, and these doughnuts."
--- Robin K Willoughby P8506
A curve on a sphere we will trace,
That's compact and smooth,
And we try to prove
It can shrink into any one place.
--- Travis Maron
Johnny E. always has the last laugh.
It never takes more
Than two, three, or four.
He says which, then it's done by his staff.
--- Literary Group
Trying to dict, dact, frictal and frack;
Coming unglued,
my brains been askewed,
By the dictals, dactyls, fractals and crack!
--- Anon
Whose phallus was strangest of all.
Like the cock of an ape
But a helical shape,
And was topped by a cubical ball.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0594
If they mention that cursed Klein bottle!
"A snip at the hips
Yields two Mobius strips!"
Leave that egghead stuff to Aristotle!
--- Big Mick Q
I'm hoping that mongrel don't fall;
'Cause it's not a fake
And if it should break,
I don't know what'd happen at all.
--- David Miller
Thought the Moebius band was divine.
Said he, "If you glue
The edges of two,
You'll get a weird bottle like mine."
--- Rj collection P9602A
'Til her agent said, "Look, get a grip!
If you find the Klein bottle
Too hard, well then, what'll
You charge for a Mobius Strip?
--- Tillmanator
Devise me a quizzical bottle!"
At its demo, a friend
Asked him, "Where does it end?
Klein, I fear that your bottle's sheer twaddle!"
--- Robin K Willoughby P8506
"Is a bottle with just one side showing.
So what you pour in
Just pours out again.
You can't tell if it's coming or going."
--- Cyber Wizard Q
'Twas done with severe apprehension.
She possessed (to be blunt)
A true Klein-bottle cunt--
Now his prick's in another dimension.
--- G2647
For a novice's radical attitude:
"Let's humor Mercator,
Who wants the lines straighter,
And give our apprentice some latitude."
--- Cyber Geezer
But one matron who knew him said later,
"You will put, my dear chap,
Your profile on the map
As you use that projection, Mercator."
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9604 a
And non-empty we know is the case,
That if f's a contraction,
Then under its action,
There's always a point stays in place!
--- D Sequeira
In a Mobius 4D-ish kind
Of 2D-faced space,
It'd be no disgrace
To slide on out, if you're inKleined.
--- Cyber Wizard Q
He'd Mobius curve his dick;
His girl friend would cry,
Oh me, oh, oh, my --
You've set me aflame double quick.
--- Anon
(The name Chippendale's on her lips)
Leave women dreamless
With moves so seamless,
They are called the mobius strips.
--- Daniel Ford
That a Moebius strip is one-sided.
You'll get quite a laugh
If you cut one in half,
For it stays in one piece when divided.
--- Rj collection P9602A
Named Virginia, could peel in a zip;
But she read science fiction
And died of constriction
Attempting a Moebius strip.
--- Cyril Kornbluth
When his theorems, his colleages derided.
Out of Mobius strips,
Paper dolls he now snips,
Non-Euclidean, closed, and one-sided.
--- Peter Wiggen A
And live life at a terrible clip.
Now please do not stare;
Although they're quite bare,
It's known as a Moebius Strip.
--- Archie
By those two brilliant guys from Great Britain.
They discuss profound things,
But there's little on strings,
Which must certainly vex Edward Witten.
--- Kay R Devicci
Is really much too strange to mention,
So I took Math 180;
The concepts were weighty,
But I now look at cubes in extension.
--- Edward B Burger P0502
Ten trinities, interlaced, bed --
Yet actually not!
Only nine have a knot,
And the tenth is unknotted instead!
--- Charles Musgrave
The authors were listing the lot
Of all ways three rings link;
They were quite right I think,
To say one way to link is to not.
--- Editor Math Journal
Who preferred an exotic position.
'Twas the joy of his life, (In front of his house)
To achieve with his wife (He achieved with his spouse)
Topologically complex coition!
--- Patrick Tinkham P9305
In the shape of a Moebius strip;
When attempting to don it,
She found it'd gone! It
Had slipped 'twixt her cups and her hip.
--- Robin K Willoughby P8311
He missed half his route, all because
That right jolly elf
Quite de-sexed himself
In a non-orientable tor's.
--- Q
A pastry decorous but porous.
Just a sausage of dough
Wrapped around a big O.
Any further discussion will bore us.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2818
Was stretched as she sang in the chorus.
Along came a baker,
A fine donut maker,
And he fashioned her one like a torus.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0437
This is file mul
Invented the cubical tube.
They looked and they laughed
And said, "Don't be daft.
Don't you see it's a tubular cube?"
--- Peter Wilkins
When finding Deb's breeches unsnappable;
With crowbar he pried
Them off and then cried,
"Her cunt is so huge it's unmappable!"
--- Anon
Got hard working on a girl's jaw.
He said, "Open wide,"
Then shoved it inside,
And all she could do was say 'Ahh!'
--- Anon
Al six feet four, Joe four feet oh --
Combining their skills
Joe chips, grinds and drills
The uppers while Al works below.
--- Irving Superior P8503
Whose talents were inci(type)dental.
For every wrong tooth
He'd offer the truth,
"My job here is acci(type)dental.
--- Irving Superior P8406
Who had an affair with a dentist.
To make the thing easier,
He used anesthesia,
And diddled her, 'non compes mentis'.
--- L0081
It drove him to fits of distraction.
A dentist named Lee
Pulled it so painlessly,
That he asked for another extraction.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2429
Engaged in a custom nefarious.
She practiced fellation
With highest elation,
Till her teeth became yellow and carious.
--- G2482
Whose patients are often quite quirky
One shit on my chair!
Others smell like they're bears!
Another used my sink to pee!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
The first one I've lost, that's the truth.
But oh, what a pleasure just
Eyeing that treasure-chest,
Dental assistant sweet Ruth.
--- Peter Wilkins
Said, "Calm down, you have nothing to fear."
Then he pulled out the bill,
Instead of the drill,
And his patient said, "I'm out of here."
--- Barbara Cunningham P9604
To the sound of a tooth being filled;
He would practise, they said,
Every night in his shed...
With the old Black and Decker he's skilled.
--- Peter Wilkins
As he started to grope underneath
The brassiere of his day-
time assistant Sue May,
"You've got great t-t-t-t-t-t-teeth."
--- Michael Weinstein P9811
Retired on the fees he'd exacted.
He crouched like a slave
In the mouth of a cave,
Making bracelets from teeth he'd extracted.
--- Mary Danby Armada 1
Who knew how to pull and to grind 'em.
His methods were new
And his false teeth were true,
For he burned all his bridges behind him.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2581
Made some false teeth for his cat.
But this ungrateful beast
Turned him into a feast,
And nothing was left but his hat.
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada
Whose technique was terribly clever:
Since, out of depravity
He filled the wrong cavity,
He has more women patients than ever.
--- Harold C Bibby
Was a demon when it came to the drill.
But instead of the mouth,
He placed it down south,
After knocking them out with a pill.
--- Don Armadale
Fell in love with the dainty Miss Ross.
Since he held in abhorrence
Her Christian name, Florence,
He renamed her his dear dental Floss.
--- Anon
He did brush and floss, spit and rinse.
But he spit on me
Then charged me a fee!
I'm glad I have not seen him since.
--- Anon
His patients could not stand his bull.
Their confidence sank
With each tooth he'd yank,
But they had to admid he had 'pull'.
--- G Watson
To drill any tooth for a shilling;
Whether needed or not,
'Tis fixed on the spot.
So he makes a good killing from filling.
--- Karyn Robbins
Gets the girls by the depth of his drillings.
When he says, "Open wide,"
They are well satisfied
(on the hole) with emergency fillings.
--- Keith MacMillan A073B
"I'm ready, hang onto your boots."
With efforts protracted,
The tooth was extracted,
But his balls were torn out by the roots.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1820
Were finer than heretofore known.
No man better could do,
And he made them so true,
That they hurt and decayed like our own.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2797
Who most perfect of false teeth did make.
And according to queries,
They would even get caries,
And he made them so good they would ache.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2629
To the earnest old virginal face.
You may feel now, Miss South,
A small prick in your mouth.
She cried, "Hardly the time or the place."
--- Anon
Thomas Hood lived a life of depravity.
(Though he had just one ball,
And his cock was so small,
It could just fill a small molar cavity.
--- G2356
To find how her young dentist drilled.
When she sat in his chair,
She stripped and said, "There
Now I'd like these two pulled and this filled."
--- Bob Giandomenico P9103
Committed a sin of some gravity;
First he undresssed his nurse,
Then, to make matters worse,
He set about filling her cavity.
--- Michael Horgan
The holes in the gals he was drilling,
With plenty of grout,
Which left little doubt,
He would be a daddy, God willing.
--- Frank Sfa
The dream she had was quite thrilling.
Nine months to the day
She knew, in a way,
It was more than her tooth he was willing.
--- John E Mayhood P9805a
Who had a young patient from Rome.
In a fit of depravity,
He filled the wrong cavity,
Now she's nursing the filling at home.
--- Anon
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