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There once was a fellow LePew, Said an innocent girl named Shelly, I'm greeted with undisguised groans, A cautious young priest from Biloxi A bandito in old Colorado There was a young man from Manassas, There was a young woman named Nina, A rabid young fellow named Haskett Two is a duo and nice; There was a young fellow named Pete, A singles club opened in Perth My gorgeous, voluptuous Gloria; A frisky young maid named Jeanette Oh, for the orgies of yore! There once was a horny young trooper, An oversize crotch had Miss Pleasure; There's hundreds of guys in the street That's one 'tween her mammary glands Writhing with six horney men, A proper young miss who got stewed, A spritely young lady named Wise, In today's world, it won't make a stir; A lover boy living in Laos There once was a roguish young lass, A liberated young woman named Heather, A modern young lady name Val, A modern young lady named Val This foursome is just what I need She said, "Arch, the problem, my pet, is, My todger is strickly lo-cal, My wallet owns similar girth A daisy chain isn't a riddle, Said a coed from Drake University, Lady wrestlers in fearsome combat, If all of these men you must screw, In this jumble of legs, heads and arms, There once was a coed named Nola, Having only one wife at a time, A perverted young pair in Hot Springs, When the sultan began to show wear, There once was a coed from Purdue (not vitamin E but B2 riboflavin that discolors urine - McW)
A scrawny young man named McCarty A girl from around Santa Cruz Two duo-pianists from Cheam I think I've detected a flaw This Paddy by name of O'Shea Now a freeswinging swain from old Rio A woman from North Carolina, There once was a man from New York There once was a young girl named Heather There once was a lusty Lothario While seducing a Dona from Spain, There were two young men of Cawnpore, I came on a lady named Kitchener, A sea-loving girl of Decatur Mike and Trisha went out in a truck; There once was a lady named Cleo "If you're horny," the gal said, "just ring us. Joe turned his weekend EXCURSION There once were two ladies from Paris, (Kara's is a porn website)
A bookkeeper known as Miss Gentry, "My first double fuck," she opined, Three ingenious young siblings called Biddle, There once was a lady from Seoul; Two beauties who dwelt by the Bosphorous, Now my boyfriend is inviting a friend; There was a young girl of Newcastle
Renowned through the land for his screw.
He'd rub them with cream;
Their souls would give steam,
And then they would want it anew.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
As a man rolled her onto her belly,
"This is not the position
For human coition,
And why the petroleum jelly?"
--- Grand Prix Lim 881 G1042
In markets from here clear to Nome..
I'm known as the guy
Who buys his K-Y
Along with a box of Milkbones.
--- Lassie's Lover TP9804A
Peeled all of the clothes off his doxy;
She agreed, "Masturbate
Only first, lubricate,"
Then coated his tool with epoxy.
--- Armand Singer
Was well known as a sex desperado.
When mounting a filly,
Although it looked silly,
He greased up with mashed avocado.
--- Mark Levy P9509
Who lubed up his tool with molasses.
In that part of the South,
That worked well for the mouth,
But tended to stick in mule asses.
--- Ward Hardman
Who had such a huge vagina.
She was having great sex
And became quite perplexed,
When she discovered not one man but nine! Ahhhh!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Was angry and blew out a gasket.
From a madam named Shores
He demanded four whores;
He would not put his eggs in one basket.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2101
Three is a trio, so thrice.
But four is a quatrain,
While five is a real gain,.
'Cause the odd guy so often comes twice.
--- Ogni Gioia
Who hastened to Plato's Retreat;
But the girl he would ride,
Had each hole occupied,
So he rubbed his poor prick on her feet.
--- Isaac Asimov
Of women there sure was no dearth.
A lawyer named Sawyer
Took his share through the foyer,
And he fucked them four deep on the earth.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2225
Whadda ya mean, there are more o' ya?
Sisters? Like you?
Who are desperate to screw?
There are four o' ya? Four!? Oh, euphoria!
--- Peter Wilkins
Married an old baronet.
His dick made her laugh,
So with butler and staff
She made up a sexy sextet.
--- Tutta Gioia
To tangle with five on the floor!
No herpes or AIDS,
Just spunky cockades
To pick from our hair, nothing more.
--- H Welchel
Who dared five sailors to grope her.
Each one stuck his peeper
In deeper and deeper,
The last one came out her pooper.
--- Anon
A cunt like a bushel -- a treasure.
When she wanted some sex
She took four men named Pecks,
And two half-pints thrown in for good measure.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0583
(A good half of them beating their meat);
While indoors she peruses
Their antics and chooses
Just six at a time for her treat.
--- Anon
(where six inches is fine) but demands
that the two further south
and the one in her mouth,
Are much larger than those in her hands.
--- Anon
Would be her idea of Heaven.
They'd share a few tricks,
Get in a few licks,
Coming together again and again.
--- Charl
Awoke rather shockingly nude,
In a room with six gents,
And a terrified sense
That she had been, and was being, screwed.
--- John Ciardi
One midsummer evening gave rise,
To a chain of events,
Involving six gents,
In a general unzipping of flies.
--- John Ciardi
Sometimes it's two 'hims' and a 'her'.
Or else it's three gays,
Or some go both ways;
One gets what one likes to prefer.
--- Chris Papa
Kept eight or ten girls at his house.
To tourists inquiring
He said, "Yes, they are tiring,
But it beats making out with one spouse."
--- Grand Prix Lim 190
Who excelled in biology class.
She thought is was fun,
To curl up with one,
But terrific to do it 'en masse'.
--- Isaac Asimov
Practiced love with both sexes together.
Her men all wore stockings
Which some found most shocking,
Her women all wore English Leather.
--- Anon
Considered a free-lovin' gal,
Once publicly said
About giving head,
"I only do this for a pal."
--- SFA
Would only make love to a pal.
You know how this ends,
'Cause three of her friends
Are Melanie, Sally, and Al!
--- Archie
To scatter my copious seed.
So you tell those gals,
I'll gladly be pals
With each as I'm doing the deed.
--- SFA
If men get me all hot and wet, it's
No good if you lay
And want a replay;
They're limper than ten day old lettuce."
--- Tiddy Ogg
So send me the number of Val.
And though we can't bed,
Some virtual head
Is fine if she's using Paypal.
--- SFA
To the oft-cited great Forth of Firth.
I'd like to get pally
With your good friend Ali --
So how much is your friendship worth?
--- Jester Jon
Simply some folks who are happy to fiddle.
By two and by threes,
On their backs and their knees,
And it's fun getting caught in the middle.
--- Anon
When asked about sexual diversity,
"While a lay is O.K.
In the regular way,
I prefer polymorphous perversity."
--- G0574
This is file xjm
Spilling bosoms all over the mat.
In a menage-a-trois,
It's a definte draw,
And the referee's got tit for tat.
--- A W Edwards P9012
What is it that you'd have me do?
Won't one of you three
Agree to do me?
Perhaps I could even have two?
--- Frank Fazed
And all of these feminine charms,
A hell of an orgy,
But I cannot find Georgie;
I think we should call the gendarmes.
--- A W Edwards P9012
Who crashed a big party at Loyola.
Although uninvited,
Her host was delighted,
She brought rubber sheets and Mazola.
--- Anon
Is to nature a terrible crime.
For unless he's quite nervous,
Any male can service
Two or three in a night in his prime.
--- H Welchel
Delight in peculiar sex things.
They fuck in a daze,
In a dozen freak ways,
With the swingers their three-line ad brings.
--- G0617
He slept every night in a chair;
When asked if his bed
Wasn't better, he said,
"There are too many people in there."
--- Lims Unlimited
Who decided her loves were too few.
She took vitamin E,
Which discolored her pee,
And she's now an insane three-way screw.
--- G0165
Attended a wife-swapping party;
When he went he was hale
For such a thin male,
But when he came back he was hearty.
--- Limber Limericks
Just doesn't know how to refuse,
And to satisfy more
Of the men at her door,
She will often accept them in twos.
--- Hugh Oliver A024A
Would even make love as a team.
One aft and one frontal,
With strokes contrapuntal,
They developed a fucking good theme.
--- G2292
In Alexander Dumas.
He tried a beautician
And every position,
But never a 'manage a trois.'
--- Al Willis
Denied the whole day he was gay.
But later that night
When quite out of sight,
He enjoyed with two boys a three-way.
--- TuttaGioia
Kept a pad with both Theo and Cleo.
The argued and quarreled,
They pouted and snarled,
Over who'd play top role with this trio.
--- Armand E Singer 186
Said "Nothing could be any finer,
Than to have a man come
Right up my fine bum,
While his wife finger-fucks my vagina.
--- Tony Zealand
Whose penis was shaped like a fork.
He claimed he could get
A blonde or brunette,
And both simultaneously pork.
--- Dan Vogl
Whose touch was as light as a feather
She ripped off her blouse
Started fucking my spouse.
I now believe three-somes are better.
--- Anon
Who bedded twin blondes in Ontario;
He said, "I'll confess,
It was not without stress--
But sex is so sexy in stereo!"
--- Norm Storer P9111a
My machismo suffered great pain.
For while I was dicking,
At the same time, she's licking
Some other man's private domain.
--- David Haller TP9804
Who buggered and fucked the same whore.
The partition split,
And the sperm and the shit,
Rolled out in great lumps on the floor.
--- L1145
As her lover was fucking the niche in her.
So I pulled out my prick,
And stuck it in quick,
And buggered the son-of-a-bitch in her.
--- G0630
Went out to the sea on a freighter.
On her very first date
She was ate by the mate,
But the captain was first man to mate her.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1253
She chose blowing instead of a suck.
The road it was slippy;
They rammed Mr Whippy,
Who wanted to join in the fuck.
--- Anon
Who screwed with a fellow named Leo.
Then they added in Fay,
Who could swing either way,
And they found it a marvelous trio.
--- Cap'n Bean P0205
My husband will offer his dingus.
If that's not to your taste,
It will not be a waste,
For I'm here if you like cunnilingus."
--- Bob Birch P0310
To romp with some kinky perversion.
He picked up blonde gal
And her brunette pal,
Then tried to play role of sheik Persian.
--- Chris Papa
Who said to me, "Please come and share us."
They did me all ways,
And now I sing praise.
It turned out those two girls were from Kara's.
--- Lusty Limericks
Had two men in bed out at Bent Tree.
The first one she fucked,
While the other she sucked;
Her system is called double entry.
--- Anon
"Was a blessing and curse both combined.
It pleasured my fore
But my aft's now too sore
For the purpose for which it's designed."
--- Loz
Indulged in a three-cornered diddle.
Though those on each side
Were well satisfied,
All fought for dual joys in the middle.
--- Anon
To have sex with three men was her goal.
With gigantic boobs,
She attracted the rubes,
Even though she'd a face like a troll.
--- Robert Elliot
Had eyes that were brighter that phosphorous.
The Sultan called, "Troth!
I'll marry you both!"
But they laughed, "I'm afraid you must tossphorous.
--- Anon
My favors he wishes to lend.
So should I agree
To make this a three?
But who would I find at each end?
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Whose charms were declared universal.
While one man in front
Wired into her cunt,
Another was engaged in her asshole.
--- Anon
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