Limeric Index

"PROPOSITIONS - POLITE - SERIES" through "RELIGION - REINCARNATION"

PROPOSITIONS - POLITE - SERIES

two, & Tu',	short, specially bought	skirt, and shirt,
clutch, in touch;	meat; constantly beat	door, once more.
dry; you why;	bank, long shank.	advance, downward-cast glance
trust, in disgust.	understand; a hand.	strong; am wrong.
lips, mighty hips.	sex, will flex;	true; about you.
dear, me here.	rear, pleasingly, dear.	hither!" to dither.
moaned, have groaned,	out; my spout!	queen? ladies-in-waiting convene!
mood, eat food.	box, a fox.	mock; great shock.
all; a call.	form, so warm.	hideous, that Lydia's
Tennyson, give benison,)	rare; over there.	neighbor, lay her.
conflict; elephant's dick.	Dumbo, honey-pot, gumbo;	deceased, the least,
well, or motel.	seek, Travis's meat.	fire, for hire.
fib; my crib.	laugh, other half?	scoff) will doff.
kind. don't mind	today? I may:	desist, a conversationalist.
shirt, my skirt,	fiery; scientific inquiry.	ease, to tease.
bower? I'll devour.	males; in pails.	work, this perq
out. and about.	cute, a root?"	need; the deed;
fruit, a beaut.	thee, vegetables three.	see, to me.

PUNS - ANATOMY

thick, nearly sick.	mix, hot licks.	high-rise. was surmised.
came, young dame.	reaffixed, she mixed.	sigh, fine thigh?
suppose, it slows.	Yoke, to poke.	snare, or fair,
perchance, of romance,	muster, a fluster.	Lou, a screw.
back; strange knack;	news, the Meuse,	bet. to get
jets. and lets	straight. in Kuwait.	test, the rest.
Schmidt, she'd permit	street, over eat.	Placid, went flaccid.
Burke, a clerk	Smart, the start.	hope, to elope.
Moines, the loin.	Brit; a twit,	anchor; of rancor.
Jake, a rake.	man, bee man,	flit, there sit.
droned, and groaned,	Dunning, his punning;	strange. seemed deranged.
fame; the same.	screwdriver, Phillips screwdriver.	Bierce, was fierce.
rocks, a box:	proclaim, a surname.	Mel, a swell.
Hodges, their watches.	road. a goad.	Mort, to abort.
grope, of soap,	charts, their starts.	These, glamour. He's
Tyrone, to moan.	heinous, and Coriolanus;	raft, the draft,
Hanes, in Plains.	toils; Tesla coils;	late, jelly's great;

PUNS - ANIMALS

priest, a feast.	two, hilly Peru.	aspire, you inquire,
Alcibiades, admire these:	Segal, sea gull.	bragging, presently sagging.
Nance, did enhance.	Xavier, save your	Minton, 'n squintin'.
Tucker, a trucker.	Bay, sunshiny day.	term, and infirm)
fond, would repond	infirm, take sperm,	know, a glow.
yap, he'd crap.	Palmer, harm her.	gory; so 'scory'.
yeller, was duller.	jerk; his perk.	rain; that's plain.
course, same source;	yawn, the lawn",	dramas, wearing pajamas.
park, after dark;	Bleigh, drinking guy.	go, to sow;
ran. a man?	ajar, my car,	cages, of wages,
cart, zoo-keepers part.	pen, carcasses in.	me; beside me.
downhearted; humorist thwarted,	fall, a sprawl.	luck, via truck,
Zoo, isappeared forever,	Morrow, of sorrow:	Vince, no expense,
before. the door.	unfurled, had hurled.	Bobbie, the lobby.
post, berth, nethermost.	twist, delicate tryst.	neglect, his treks
Wares, he declares.	-- the aggressor.	Chamblee, by McGee.
Edward, but headward.	Murtle, them fertile.	Joe, you know.
arise, full size,	catch! a batch;	introduction, their reproduction.
started, and darted	black, cried, "Alack,"	views, singing blues,
Kline, good rhyme;	sick; a brick.	askew, way through.
dude, good mood.	Noah, a boa.	groaned. barely condoned.
admit, a bit,	class, one pass.	hate, my Kate.
find, this bind	say: will play?"	know, Poe's "doh"
face, no trace.	cats, said, "That's	camp, lion's jaw-clamp.
dear; bring, dear;	her; to alter	old, of mold,
extols, his goal's	frowned, I'd found;	Sayers, two shares.
part; they start.	doodle, wet noodle.	cloth, the Goth,
absurd-- tall bird,	Crane, and rain.	fog, a jog.
Leigh, could be.	sleep. to keep.	zoo, teensiest clue,
Flynn, wearing thin,

PUNS - BOOZE

friend, without end.	funny, make money.	drink, a wink.
ID." laughed merrily.	Ritter, smit her.	fun, his son.
think, strong drink,"	gin," you in."	rug. my drug."
spree, the degree	fight; in sight;	snickers, no knickers.
comatose, I disclose.

PUNS - BOTANIC

Kent; had spent.	appealed, to yield.	here; my dear.
alone; funny bone.	ease; they sees,	ages, legalized sages:
proficient; her deficient:	O'Shea, to decay.	awoke, a joke.
May, trouser affray.	kid, he did?)	away, one day.
away, said, "Hey!	groan, my bone.	chest, my breast.
need, good deed."	play. do say.	wield, fruitfully yield.
matrimony, be free.	go, would grow	through, the view?"
begun, a pun.	Heap, wouldn't keep.	crestfallen; heart callin'?
deep, a sweep.	Knute, winter tribute,

PUNS - DOCTORS/DEATH/RELIGION

ground, to expound,	Hazin, a raisin	Hall, the fall.
complete, the beat.	Proctor, good doctor.	DeWitt, a snit,
Baer, is rare.	McBung, had clung.	Morse, a horse,"
Duluth, manner uncouth.	journals, officer, Burnells.	regalia, a dahlia.
gift, was adrift.	Hank; first rank.	Ridge, Gate Bridge?
primate, time it."	Meeks, for weeks	actor; a tractor.
brigade, border blockade.

PUNS - ENTERTAINMENT

reporter, a quarter.	nineteen-oh-twos, the queues,	Spark, a lark.
abhors, low scores.	stir, lictors aver,	Iraq?" newspaper hack.
fill", whispered Jill	dear, my spear	me, we'll be
around, your mound	Sawyer, chess warrior.	go, will flow.
folks; examines jokes.	mission, been wishin'.	sea, is me.
shock, his stock,	'gators," with potaters,	recall, the ball,
sites, guy fights,	witch, her niche.	Tor- young whore!

PUNS - EXCRETORY

Mel, the smell.	go-getter, wealthy jet-setter,	soul, one goal,
sent, were indecent.	free, I see,	Fred, blacksmith instead
admits, never omits	Brewer, the viewer;	Danny. each cranny.
gall, Uncle Paul	storm, his norm.	piper. are hyper.
flight, last night.	pit, just shit!	flight, sewer site.
heart, would impart.	glass. some class.	mate, couldn't wait.
bright, last night.	Shit, a bit.	admits, the pits.
stellar, turned yeller.	near, stale beer;	McCurdy, were sturdy,

PUNS - FOOD

bizarre, so far.	sin, me grin.	boomed, I zoomed.
free, would flee,	feather, their tether;	sheet; shredded tweet;
raw, the jaw	science, show defiance.	foment, a bent
Miller, mostly filler.	unnerving, remain unswerving,	true: a queue.
year. and near.	lament, it's spent.	Brand, as planned.
Marrow, and narrow.	Klein, high sign.	course, of remorse.
hate, dental plate,	delays, of praise.	phase; will amaze.
Pat, or tat.	Nanuoo, his canoe.	surprise! their cries.
unwise, no surprise.	me, for tea.	Kurst, would burst.
deer? bum steer?	vicious, was delicious,	Hall, so small,
Daisy, I lazy.	Chu, he knew.	dismayed, well displayed.
climb, Stage Line.	valid, that's salad.	arts, fresh starts.
notes, and motes."	Ceylon, real paragon	Deex, many weeks
plates, my hates)	rum, a drum;

PUNS - HOMOS/HOOKERS/BAD GUYS

Krause, a mouse,	best, convictions attest.	say, to convey;
sails, gust pales,	rate, of late.	Falls, their stalls,
meet, a treat.	ignoring, from Loring,	Gloria, in Victoria.
LaFarge, a charge	course, a horse.	slick, ever click,
flattery, every Saturday.	Biggers; his riggers.	Nell, was swell.

PUNS - LITERATE

fate, this straight.	poet, know it!	genetic, be apathetic.
Kent, all bent.	pun. word-play fun.	preaches; Keech is:
co-ercions, their versions.	Sloane, from stone.	Reese, fine piece.
antiquity, liquid, he	alarmed" has harmed	Alexandre, a wanderer,
regrets? who frets	Fisk, and frisk	'em. read 'em.
sought, being fought.	tongue, are young,	lift, her rift.
big. a gig.	chatter, a platter.	Dolan, goal, an'
heard. quite absurd.	gift, attitude shift.	shift. are miffed.
pun," his son,	Larry, He's unwary."	matter, young satyr;
discard, quite hard.	stunning. of punning.	recorded, carefully hoarded
find, big grind;	alone, grinding stone.	Yates, heart palpitates."
cuts, too nuts,	complain, a brain.	attended, he intended.
ended, which offended.	spectra, nothing extra.	Fisk, a disk.
chaps, his synapse.	sense, specialty: hence	Frome, his home.
incarceration, caused frustration.	chance, a dance.	wise, the flies--
surmise, was wise.	devises, wise is.	Fugard, new bard.
heard, completely absurd.	camp; by lamp.	loan, Egyptology's tone,
ditties, for pity's	try, his eye.	Kent, a tent.
stuns, their runs,	lupine, thought divine.	Pitt, it quit.
Wooster, goosed her.	giddies; our biddies.	enthralls, major malls.
strolls, of holes,	attacks, dull paperbacks,	days. a phase.
heretofore, my door.	Moon, too soon.	Knowles, like moles.
partook, a look

PUNS - LITERATE - SERIES

sorrow, to borrow.	-- his sorrow,	Borrow, much sorrow.
Zorro, the barr-oh.	to, despicable ghetto.	earned, she learned.
taro. of horror.	Clozoff, old sloth,	neighbor; a trailer,
Jabber, Wanda Grabber.	checked, often bedecked	paint, just cain't
charm, untold harm."	pollution? of confusion.	suspect, often erect,
boss. are tossed.	boost, been goosed)	bist?" fume mist,
missed, more grist	bust, you must	biest, her priest
fast; have passed,	fist; he's pissed.	twist, heretofore missed.
fond, "Walden Pond."	threat: would get.	poems, he roams.
Bell-end, did rend.

PUNS - LOCATION

Bruno, a no-no?	Clyson; a bison.	Wright, fine night.
Stu, quite new.	Kent, the gent,	Ling, a sting.
zest, Key West.	indeed, carnal need.	Jill, twin bill.
walk, Central Park...	near; in fear.	halted, only resulted
it. regret it.	Freddy, was ready;	cliffs, family rifts;
frown; and brown.	"She's, her knees,	digs; and pigs.
defeat, did entreat.	Dwight, horrible fright,	four, the floor,
fail, would sail.	Puns, "Switzerland Nuns."	Asiatic, city attic.
O'Hara's, bare ass.	amazed; were glazed.	copulated, eggs confiscated;
Slane, his brain.	casement, his placement.	composure, recent disclosure
bones, onerous loans	pity, was pretty.	reducible. more usable.
Harris, the terrace.	a, she's a	heart, but smart,
Polder, would smolder	excursion, widespread conversion,	Lance, of pants,
Albania, from megalomania;	freaking, broadly speaking,	means? worth beans.
day, getting away.	Nile, my style,	winter; to enter.
under, me asunder.	Thripp, his whip,	forlorn, Alpine horn,
disco, miss Mishko.	poll, mostly un-droll;	sorrow, to Morro,
Stone, quarrel full-blown.	Uganda, and candor.	Lenore, to shore.
crossed, low cost.	Creek, won't speak.

PUNS - PEOPLE

drink, the sink.	threw, in Peru,	Trefoil, the soil.
boast, than most.	slow. you know.	day, fashioned way.
might, at night,	help, in kelp,	hun; had fun.
started, she farted.	subsist, are kissed,	Gore; would abhor.
proposal. saying, "Those'll	Swedes, in Leeds;	Kuwait, named Tate.
throne, has sown,	say. can play.	go, in woe.
Jane, loving Elaine.	Burke, night murk.	Rosen, the chosen.
ranted, be recanted.	suppose, Lida Rose?	faced, total distaste;
White, and bright.	fair. the stair."	jewel, so cruel.
concussion; every discussion.	hear, too near.	best, lackluster guest.
screwball, stories tall.	preference," in consequence,	renown, knocked down
birds; by nerds.	Rand, was grand.	mistook, a snook.
rumor, (sic) humor.	Hall, to all,	felt, was dealt,
Vic, multiply quick	stenographers, by photographers,	grand; your hand,
like. wouldn't strike.	volunteered, been sheared	scenes, othodox deans,
Granada, the larder.	matures, which assures	Drake, Veronica Lake.
hill, that he'll

PUNS - PEOPLE - CELEBS

stricken, Maryland chicken,	thinkin', down drinkin'.	time, last time;
late, young mate,	hear, to wear	fin; were grim.
Mandy, so handy."	Carnold, reservoir nulled,	scope, a dope.
Hell; augur well,	beers; no fears.	appears, in tiers.
pitch, rite niche.	Chopin, George Sand.	cavorter; reward her.
kinder, famous sci-finder,	chick, truly heart-sick,	carton, just startin'.
McFunt, ghastly affront.	Hayakawa, students empower,	Wesley, temptations fleshly,
ghost: she's toast.	rants, accept can'ts.	arty; second party.
her, the doctor.	me, awaits the	nelly, excell; he
bassoon; to croon.	Mandel, with Quell.	cassette, chess set;
breath; to death;	remain, soccer game;	disdain, was inane,
show-biz, great whiz.	learned, Chicago burned.	stripling, was rippling;
dung-hill; efforts until	discerner, were sterner,	Hoipolloi, to employ,
balance, fine talents.	calling; Nobel's falling;	danger; perfect stranger?
nothin'; like muffins.	trailer, lusty impaler.	marred, hard --
far, below par;	fellers, underwear smellers,	glance, seamans dance.
brides, their sides,	squintin', enemy's sittin'.	fear, gets here."
Horter, disport her,	Rome, to aerodrome,	west, ongoing request.
Mich. to fish.	Christian, Shintoist teach-in.	gag, a drag.
smelt, nose melt!	swore, the fore,	wink; I think
aloof, to proof.	peers, go near;	lawless, provocation smallest,

PUNS - PEOPLE - FEMALE

Fiske; was brisk.	verbose, very close,	unseat, most indiscreet.
moot, very astute.	Lane; me insane.	bike, wouldn't like:
Zuiderzee, age three	tool, that pool	four, next door,
itch, over-ripe kids	Gwen. of men,	score, his door.
bore; a chore;	Hatch, pickproof catch,	small. that's all.
starred, manhood regard,	Jack, my sack;	Mott, to fox-trot.
Lester, best are	animosity, as atrocity.	Sahara, quite rara.
thinking, been drinking,	C.C. "Si, si."	Marge, larceny charge,
male, the tale.	Fern, in turn.	Gail, yard sale.
Marie, at sea.	on, hand on	Kate, of weight.

PUNS - PEOPLE - MALE

miller, a tiller	force, a horse.	go, we sow?
Art, a tart,	"Yes." or less.	Sage, and Gage.
cello, he fell-o.	Cod); I applaud.	great; a date.
Gallager, the coroner.	renowned, longer around;	fatter, can splatter!"
-- "It's degrading.	Enis, a Venus.	John, the Don,
Carmen-Yvonne, "Darling don,	Don. Uncle John.	cherish, is bearish.
piddle, and diddle,	keen, affairs epicene.	his, "port" is.
Fry, his tie,	Popp; not stop;	boot, his root.
Tom; he's abnorm.

PUNS - PEOPLE - THINGS

Bright, at night.	Malta, in Yalta.	Gable, and able;
proof, sure, waterproof.	beets, and meats.	alone. was blown.
charmed, and calmed	Hines, his grapevines,	Max, somewhat lax.
Paul, young doll,	Vernal, life diurnal.	Licking, a clicking;
Japan, a fan.	bliss; against this.	Joan's, fine stones.
two, cones grew.	Paul, her shawl.	Gretel, a kettle.
yield; is sealed.	Cox, cash box.	ring; that thing.
deep, they keep	Lentz, much sense.

PUNS - PEOPLE - ZSERIES

firm, to squirm	Vinny, for any	occurred, I heard.
learned, was burned.	nation, preserve civilization.	you? bandwagon anew.
hatter, look fatter.	seen) an evergreen.	deformed; I'm adorned.
Eileen; I've been,	ton, or run.	attention, affliction 'forementioned.
telegram, his grandmam.	fine. bitter assinine	might, a fright.
day, must pay.	collection, for inspection.	sizes, and prizes;
in, could begin.	groans, fervent moans,

PUNS - SEXUAL

statistics, language linguistics;	said, person's misled.	absurd: frequently heard.
ducks, like fucks	Canuck, her luck,	Kalamazoo, a screw.
awareness, has rareness,	self-reliance, book compliance,	understand, at hand;
dare; he's there.	blink; a wink.	raft. a shaft.
deplores, with whores.	mislay, she'd say.	Sanger, the hangar.
fence! sex-games commence!	Weaver; an achiever.	Ray, the day.
dick, come quick;	Skinner, you sinner,	fired? more admired?
Rand, the sand,	pay, both triple-A	Guido, scale do-mi-sol-ti-do.
hate, wed mate.	Nisei, so gay,	Bicks, a fix.
inserts, short skirts.	blue, threadbarest clue;	McHugh, a coup".
Clete, the street.	Lohring, oar ring.	Kate?" bit late."
Blue, I do?	dunce, problems confronts,	divine; do shine.
malls, small stalls.	Tucker, pheasant plucker.	fonder, to wander,
Dawn, vicarage lawn...	fail, innocent tale	taking, it's making
night, a bright	beads, she needs.	Stour, hydraulic power
storm, is torn	dick, pretty quick;	suppose, sexual woes.
wits, the pits!	Burundi, last Sunday	charged, by Marge).
sigh; the sky!"	say, one day:	glee, so free,
block, his flock.	Hieronymous, her anonymous).	handyman; her can.
Ray, sis Kay;	Dee? offered me	heard; the word!
stir, a bolster	clasp, my asp,	while, are vile,
okay, far away.

PUNS - SEXUAL - FEMALE

Gail, her tail.	sick; really quick.	match, canny dispatch.
right; mini-skirt, tight.	forever, to sever.	eight, slow date.
clever, he's ever	tugs, and plugs.	discreet, owner's meat.
tear. I fear!	luck; the buck.	wits, male twits.
nation, the station;	blunt, your hunt	Stack, the sack.
Dru, best screw.	Spike, the pike.	rockers; drew gawkers.
sits, their wits,	recalls, Niagra Falls,	rate; each date;
count, not discount.	think, the pink;	troll, bathtub-type bowl,
arts, girl counterparts.	sum, and from,	Cookie, no rookie.
sleeped, been heaped.	Knox, an ox.	Scott: and hot,
saw, in awe.	snooper, a blooper.	Eloise's, by Jesus.
parade, the trade.	appeal, I feel.	Hughes, I refuse.
Hale, little avail,	Brown, to renown,"	gritty, Sioux City.
Rourke, his cork.	school; a rule.	heels, spring-loaded wheels.
pities, old biddies,	Lee, just be.	Muntz, big fronts.
hum, a rum.	night, Miller Light.	bits, write skits.

PUNS - SEXUAL - MALE

Ostend, the bend;	Corning, always yawning.	Perce; were perverse,
gravity, of depravity	Frank), to swank	five, a dive.
away, that day.	hurls, in pearls.	Bill, sexual till,
boozer, gal cruiser;	Trilling, more fulfilling.	enthralls, deftly forestalls.
saps) occasional lapse	nit-picker, to bicker,	Reese, from Nice.
rock; his flock.	Maurice, for he's	satyr, a crater.
appendo;" dirty crescendo.	crocked, who knocked.	Rimmon, or slimmin',
cough, and scoff.	deft, ethics bereft.	Delia. fancy Ophelia;
adventurix, sexotic kicks.	cause, great applause.	Slater; real hater;
Strater, misanthropical hater;	Cates, she states,	Bates, coupling creates
Pater; top rater;	tractor, distract her.	her, sacked her.
demanded. quite stranded.	Tri-D, quite untidy.	screw. wouldn't do.
Buck, their luck.	embarrassment, Paris went,	Westminster, a spinster.
Lance, in France;	Hood, very good.	lasses! dangerous gases

PUNS - SPOON - BAWDY

Madras, difference, alas,	frames, lusty dames,	heat, loftiest seat.
allow, pilleous prow.	Rose, her nose,	Cush, to push
sock, shed smock;	feeding, hours unheeding,	Guide, who tried
crawlers, and haulers,	plumper, jump her.	jail, a sale.
ya, were hornier.	Wacker, an unpacker,	runts, as fronts.
dunce, at once,	Cottle, the bottle,	running, was sunning.
hunts, of stunts.	great. named Kate.	billed, men thrilled.
Zwicks, for kicks,	Powell, a howl.	log, and jog
twits, their bits,	tore, the floor,	Weaver, eager believer.
callers, and brawlers,	late, the Gate,	braze, ably allays
for, play for.	a-surge, to purge.	misfit, carping, submit.
group, wilderness troop.	race, flock face,	Pope, and mope,
Morrie, financial glory.	clocks, their cocks.	struts, his putts,
fronts, for months,	chic, considered antique.	rife, married strife.
brims, and swims,	chaps, the taps.	fantastic, so gymnastic,
she, spoke immediately;	heat, this feat,	Dwight, one night
say, deepest dismay.	zest, fondly suggest	wine, just fine.
shrugs, fretfully tugs;	McPhee, a degree,	shucker, help succor,
Gluck, was stuck.	poker, provoke her,	you're, "You're
treat, is complete.	treat, pleasures replete;	stance, it's advance.
slim, young trim.	quake, been spake.	Hill, at will,
chicks, lucrative tricks,	Cities-- Three Cities.	ditties, several committees;
twit, a bit.	Chuck, terrible luck.	dispatch, could match.
Jack, to sack.	warm, his norm.	Norm, the dorm,
honed, birds, two-toned.	bud, a thud,	Hunt, to punt.
Fife, were rife	art, are unsmart,	Bloomingdale's, lone males.
knob, gemologist, Bob.	Lang, old gang.	Cousteau, she'd go.
hot, a lot,	flown, well known,	phase. his days?
display, Onan" soiree.	Hodges, snatching watches.	phase. the days,
cries, dieters wise."	Rhyl, John Hill.	it, 'Spare it,'

PUNS - SPOON - CLEAN

canners; the planners.	plight, a night.	Dover, run over
prattle. like cattle.	planned, the sand,	Hughes, matching shoes.
fog, resolute slog.	fair, show there.	agrees; when he's
laws: their paws.	slack, denizens tack,	explains, take brains.
unique, in cheek.	cause, a clause.	Hall, high wall.
entassle, no vassal,	epicene, was keen;	tall, thrown ball,
Hooper, storm trooper.	stately, mannered sedately,	amaze; a daze.
thrive; a hive.	us, other's quietus.	Niki, always sticky,
snag, same gag.	man, and elan.	fly. you try;
Rose, to pose.	what'll, my glottal?	Satyr, the latter.
very, a flurry.	ill-luck, was struck.	Scout, no doubt.
Copes, the ropes;	goads, slowly forebodes,	fail? two-timing male?
foined, lawfully joined--	clickety-clack, the back,	side, houses allied.
shocks; the docks.	Firth, of girth;	Alice, about Dallas.
sing, in Peking.	bestrews, and eschews	request, a guest,
fruit; doesn't suit.	Spooner, every lampooner.	dunce, Opernockety runs,
Shreeves, Christmas eves;	punt, in front.	cheap; not deep.
scheme, white stream,	heights, taxation incites.	Groot, so cute.
sweet, both feet.	lark. easy mark.	slugger, hip hugger,
Tanner, some manner.	Katz; sneer, "Rats!"	cheap, to weep.
isle, their file,	cut, banjo ajut;	runt, the brunt,
salutes, young boots,	Herm, Stew Pachyderm,	firm, the term,
said, juxtaposition instead	Sawyer, foreplay destroyer,	heads, into shreds.
sublime, a prime	chime, does climb.	learned, plaudits returned,
learned, be earned.	surpass, lower class;	disgrace: his face,
flair, late-coming fare.	palms, of qualms,	Mae, sea spray.
extols, skillfully rolls;	bay, sailing away.	mystifying, no denying.
slings, painfully brings	forlorn, people scorn.	throng, and strong.

PUNS - TOM SWIFT

on, hand 'n'	moralistically, around (euphemistically),	psychedelical, so helical;
Mom, and from	amply, said, damply.	frankly? feeling dankly.
cupboard, and rubbered.	historic-ly, I plea,	"So's, blood flows.
abused, had used	nightly, but brightly.	joked, you smoked.
land, a hand;	fared; be scared.	stared, he despaired;
bind; I find,	dread. my head?	purred, never stirred.
elated, poorly rated,	phone, a bone,	great, to create
be; favorite CD.	day, tulips display.	decidedly, leaving, backslidedly.
highly, said wryly.	extensively, all) apprehensively.	goaded; is loaded,
grounded, inflation confounded.	cold; so old,	blankly, Miss Wankleigh!
slavely, quite knavely.	slimly, tales primly,	best, one quest-
nest, was pressed.	permitted. you've omitted.	ride, recently died;
greatly. low lately.	here, my dear.	commenced, more tensed.
tired, is fired	certain; for flirtin'.	inbred, often tread
head. buy bread	table: I'm unable	quizzically. said aphrodisiacally,
head! in bed!	all, auctioneer Paul.	Crittall? does belittle
Dormull, so formal,	banned, royal command.	head, is dead.
head, auld Ned.	lunch; a crunch.	frenetically, nature, genetically.
hash, a splash	hash, a flash.	automatic," the attic.
nightly, most contritely,	wandered; and yondered.	demurely, acting impurely."
sense, and hence,	grasped, he gasped:	muttered. have uttered
hired, is inspired!	damnation, in rotation,	red! nor bed;
debarked, had parked.	unsightly, there nightly.	endorse, communication resource.
sported, most imported."	thwarted, layers assorted.	jolted; was bolted.
dallied, have rallied,	cavortly, and portly,	around, I found"
thickly, worked quickly,	cried, from outside.	award, is scored,
morn, garden, reborn.	followed, very hollowed;	he, uplift me;
unruly, it, truly.	leaped, been heaped:	head, buttock instead.
entitled, All	guessed, are dressed.	Jones: dry bones.
obliquely; feeling bleakly	on, land on	care. it there
scare, losing air.	Kent; old gent;	scoring, am pouring.
fair, of nowhere.	fully, show, fully

PUNS - TOM SWIFT - BAWDY

go, to toe."	supinely, open divinely,	sleigh, winter's day.
lightly, me fortnightly,	ballin', Miss Sprollen;	elated, passion's abated,
fair, for air;	bended, member ascended.	degree, true devotee.
steepish, floors, deepish.	collide, he'd confide:	bed. great head.
loosely; filling profusely	bed; sexily shed.	sated, much underrated.
pinkie, his wrinkly,	slated, soon abated,	fairest, oftentimes harassed.
permission, his transmission	fornication, keep observation.	corroded, he unloaded:
concealed; and field.	gypped, I've slipped	bed, some head.
wed, dropped dead;	red; your bed?	awfully, Miss Boffleigh;
deliciously, nipples capriciously.	tamely, said lamely,	smartly. who's partly
nightly, quite unsightly.	bed, be fed...	seek, to peek.
head, of dread.	boff. can't doff.

PUNS - TOM SWIFT - SERIES

purred, my bird?"	dumbly; all glumly.	bated. carnal anticipated.
charming; of harming.	yellowed, not mellowed.	her, cue for
speciously, you've capriciously	displays, those ways.	blankly, quite rankly.
be-skirted?" she flirted	tool, the stool,	endorse, more coarse:
a-knockin', in stockin's	gleaning, there's leaning.	"swifty", whose nifty
fly, the 'Y',	Seth, until death),	date; be late.
head, horizontally spread,	word, your bird,	tried, new bride.
fear, to hear.	statistics, your hypotheistics,	superstitious, his wishes;
flowers, magical powers,	optimistic, problem logistic.	young, a tongue?
sad! so bad.	here; of urea.	vacate, to abate,
reported, visage distorted,	forge, and engorge	fines, lockup reclines.
dallied; I've rallied;	follied, her jollied.	dingus, bring us
conferred, would gird.	recompense, cause offence.	far," a star;
appearing, eyes tearing.	appeared, she feared.	ears, for years!"
grind, a bind,

RAPE

sainted, Indians tainted.	couth, aboriginal youth,	hogan, his brogan.
life, his knife.	Crowe, you go.	agape, to escape,
Hoboken, attacker outspoken,	Tut, his hut.	cool. my school,
land, every man.	Cape, a rape.	rapis, instantus castratus.
find, a kind,	Barnstable, entirely demonstrable	down, to town;
alive, sexual drive,	Waste, great haste.	cute, sex brute.
Ulrika, his dicka,	Brown, half frown):	Cape, and escape
Tabor, a neighbor,	Little, an acquittal;	Maloney, of feloni-
whore, the floor.	escape, must shape.	gentry, everything elementary.
Crassar, at Vassar.	Valerie, National Gallery,	Sentry, some gentry.
Boyes, her poise.	Mustang, for poontang.	Hurst, world's worst.
lass, after mass.	freedom, breed 'em.	plead, we agreed
Zambezi, and cheesy.	horrid, face florid.	Newsome, a twosome.
Akeem, her theme	Bohemia, christened Euphemia;	Jane, a cane.
Greep, while asleep.	Aberystwyth, grist with;	Patricia, Shiite Militia.
rapeable, remains, inescapable,	Mark, the park,	Kerr, her fur.
Dewar, a brewer,	Phil, named Jill.	Bedford, the head-board.
Draper, of paper.	Mape, bad shape.	red, my bed;
Sloan, to moan:	village, upon pillage	Wade, all displayed,
Seoul, a stroll.	door, the floor.	Lipe, was ripe.
bus, big fuss.	Cole, her soul.

RAPE - BY FEMALE

Park, sexual mark.	Vikki, a quickie.	Peak, spinster antique.
diversity, feel free	Vancouver, my maneuver.	Ostend, South Bend.
Tudor, an intruder.	Jeep, of Heep.	deluded, and denuded.
cruel; and drool.	Mel, Sergeant Bell.	Spokane, they can.

RAPE - ENJOYED

Greece, named Elise	Pyle, pure guile.	Ben, her den.
Grover, of Dover.	rape; agape --	gaped, rapist escaped,
Sutter, to flutter.	Greeley. too steely.	Jane, a train.
Cape, good rape,	Biggar, much vigor.	rape, the Cape,
night; and right,	Bess, with finesse.	train, arrested Blaine.
Fitches, mean sons-of-bitches,	Gus, a bus.	Mott, her cot.
Orleans, his teens.	park, named Starke	Wyoming, the gloaming,
O'Keefe, young thief	Joe, Miss Flo.	wood; but good.
Jack; an attack.	Clark, the dark.	then, thousand men.
Flanagan, ran again,

RELIGION - ATHEISTS

Fred, into bed,	exerted, reporters asserted,	"Ayer, atheist's prayer,
hot, has got	intentions, as mentioned.	hell. a bell.
junk, that bunk	Christ, great price.	you, faith, too."
McKnapps, religious lapse,	fudged, be grudged,	leaf; much grief.
Rank, morality stank,	Jillette, all wet.	I. only goodbye.
Feld, he held.	Go! God no!	time, can begrime;
vicinity, the Trinity,"	God, as odd.	guilt. is built
proclivity, Christmas activity.	Cruz, to choose.	dons, are cons.
wise, to rise,	flood, for blood),

RELIGION - BLASPH

pimp, great wimp.	that? your twat?	Skougaard, true God.
a, a fever,	err, dyslexic flair.	stale, dodo's travail.
torn, we mourn?	bed, her instead.	Cary, Virgin Mary.
boast, heavenly host:	Almighty, my nightie,	Christ' Jesus viced.
Meryl, a whirl.	account, to surmount.	Jews, good news.
Moldavia, bawdy behaviour.	screw, one too.	me? to see;
vortex, short, ex	started. kundalini imparted	me, me, blasphemy.
rule, one's tool:	God, in pod.	pity, are shitty.
mind, his kind.	mail, not fail	gone, put upon.
sperm, to affirm	trick, sans dick.	Cary, divine statuary.
Mary, all hairy!

RELIGION - CATHOLIC

Hessian, of repression.	Utopians, Pope begins.	Maria, called "pariah."
Spain, Ferdinand's reign,	misfeasor, Bellarmine geezer;	Ghent, it meant,
out, old lout.	Tour, relapsed pure.	delegate, that's delicate:
cherubim, one seraphim,	pollution, cheap prostitution.	priest, the least;
Penniction, perfunctory benediction,	vicarial: afterworld aerial.	confirms, uncertain terms,
Finn, his kin.	pure-souled: highly extolled.	Lamont, her aunt;
Alice, ten-acre palace;	Kent, for Lent.	attractive; ruling inactive.
Kent; "Heaven sent".	Northants, Gregorian Chants;	sensation, the accusation.
Peculiar, named Julia.	dance; the can'ts.	chap, knew that."
subliminal, the hymnal.	serial, career presbyterial;	pope, the rope.
Galileo, the trio	led, your head:	morn, the porn.
lent; was spent.	down; heretical clown.	papists, pious escapists,
tricked, stiff flicked	Dunn, my son,	lass, Republican class;
Leeds, deadliest deeds.	sweeter, any neater?	position, sinful condition.
thirst, are cursed.	saints! erectile complaints.	detection, such perfection
Christine, virtue pristine.	intent, existence misspent,	Mass, lower class.
Trevor, Christian endeavor,	Tashkent, for Lent.	Trent, for Lent.

RELIGION - CATHOLIC - MARY

unwary, and hairy.	bestial, "'tis celestial,	thicker, not dicker,
go; the snow."	bury, a fairy	debated, way overrated.
virgin, God's urgin'.	plain, to explain.	board, auto's dashboard.
Harry, non-virgin Mary,	intactus, distract us	Dad? a tad,
priest, the least	still: Capitol Hill.	lad, as dad;
tart, male part.	shy, the guy	deep, don't keep,
Tiddy, Nazarene ditty.	divinity, her virginity.

RELIGION - CHRISTIAN

diocese, diocese seize.	hard; up marred.	propound, is unsound!
you, it's true.	will, thrill --	prostrate, his prostate,
"So, you know?	Rayloe, his halo.	few, of view.
Cardiff, asked if	Eve; strongly believe.	Jesus, he pleases,
Eve; I believe,	reading, I'm a-kneading.	enthrall, be small.
churchmen, and condemn.	-- when --	gent, during Lent.
Boles, antithetical souls:	inane, to shame.	cherabim, just seraphim;
day; on Monday.	priest, named Keast,	contrition, to perdition;
Europe, and stirrup,	lurch, for church.	confirms, me squirms,
say, that way."	Baird, he fared.	paleontology, an apology,
mood, gratuitous crude.	-- Adam descended.	go, is slow.
deceive. I believe.	Ammon, him salmon,	obscene, with spleen.
Abystwyth, whist with.	Hell; is well.	views, as "news."
glen, prosperous men.	amuse, to disabuse	Iscariot, his lariat,
say: Judgment Day!"	feeling, enough kneeling,	label; we're able
libel; primitive, tribal,	Finn, of sin;	seven, to Heaven.
Pilate, defile it?	say, this day.	pine," a whine...
Luther, truth, er	sore, he swore:	saint, pious restraint
Matt, big caveat.	Lee, to pee.	Hommes, about psalms.
Bath, narrow path;	concede, it, indeed.	Paul, at all.
Christian, missed 'em.	saber; foul labor.	misses, previous kisses,
Greek, was unique)	infinity, the Trinity;	Pfaff, sexual gaffe.
Xavier, the Saviour.	instructor, Percy Ruchter."	confessed, be transgressed.
drumming; softly humming.	care, clothes everywhere.	addresses, impress us
Gophet, named Moffat,	on, scorched Crayon.	lad, great sad.
out, is about.	besmirch: I search;	quitted, hit it.
worth, of mirth.	Crusade, were made;	Eutoxeter, at her.
Salerno, burn, oh."	Stonce, your wonts.	-- a dud.
peroration: avoid fornication.	afar, heavenly star.	lack, in slack.
1. enemy's gun,	Nair, to spare,	Weeks, protracted piques,
Trinity, solo divinity;	priest, like yeast;

RELIGION - CHRISTIAN - QUAKER

Haiti, at eighty,	Dundee, with glee.	Quaker, Sabbath breaker.
Acre, a Quaker.	Laker, a Quaker.	free, and me."
Baker, a Quaker.	Lee, raucous melee,	Baker, young Quaker.
Baker, good Quaker;	Quaker, an acre;	Quaker, a Laker.

RELIGION - CHRISTIAN - STUPID

religious, most litigious.	born, with scorn.	tools, as ghouls.
honey, is funny.	pain; too vain.	thumbs, that comes,
Kent, for Lent.	gay, deviant way.	immaculate, an ejaculate.
right. to fight,	cement, trouser tent.	strong; his dong?
Mel, as well.	steady, if unready.	Mavis, save us,
best, with zest.	Grunday, except Sunday,	yore, you swore.
nurse, or curse;	boulders, strong shoulders.	a, Chinese Sangria.
besmirch, the church.	guts. serious cuts.	more? for sure.
mild. neighbor's child.	school, Caatholics rule.	are..." so far.
proof? so aloof?	guy, to ply.	doc, private flock.
reside, not abide.	Love, up above.	Earth, of worth.
World, banners unfurled,

RELIGION - CHRISTIAN - ZSERIES

giving, by forgiving;	key, for me.	day, and pray
day, and pray	Rome, from home.	quest, the best.
be, than three!	declared, are impaired!	jeered. all sneered.
grief. my belief!	home, in Rome.	land, his brand.

RELIGION - CHURCHES

sin, Mr. Flynn,	Treadwell, read well:	stray, of A.
parades, Baptist tirades.	chagrin, as kin.	two; a few.
C.E. to be	true, tell you,	solemnly, gently, resoundingly.
Heaster, on Easter,	sacred, is over-rated.	composed, oft supposed.
flow, to know,	Muir, not pure.	mouse, God's house.
ruckus, the tuckas,	McBurch, a church.	deployed, great void.
Hingham, green gingham;	Birch; could besmirch.	Bucky: been lucky.
Jerusalem, a Musselim.	God's; are frauds.	controlled; are told.
pursuing, virtuous doing;	life; your strife.	door, or more,
Hall, and all.	while. soul smile.	King's, of things.
gray, brushes away.	farts, to start.	holy!" "If only
then, widening grin:	today, walked away.	cause, indulgences pause.
eucharist, modern twist.	blue, for you:	prey! must stray.
chose, no clues.	tallowed; invitingly hallowed.	mind, impurest kind,
robes, ear lobes;	Harrow, a barrow.	Kim, after hymn.
Tippoo, his pew.	sing, a swing;	Jew; own view,
Cam! I am!	Hall, "Don't stall.	alone, and unknown,
Rome, Vatican dome,	Peru, something new.	Ayre, during prayer,
callous; enthrall us.	Dallas, a phallus.	Thule, was cool.
choir; to higher.	research, the lurch.	Dijon, got religion.
Dijon, de religion.	swear, will stare,	Universal, all directions)
fossil), modern apostle.	sunrise, me emphasize	sour, unbearably dour;
Timmins, singing hym-ns;	Sherborne, a turban;

RELIGION - COMMANDMENTS

odd, Lord God.	caught, he'd wrought.	Fay, dark day.
wholly; are holy.	mother. some other	lain, fabulous twain.
fun; have done.	Boone, executive goon).	fun, your son,
digs, wheeled rigs.	sons. now runs,	Nuns, ones --
McBunts; runts --	cunts. pro-chastity nuns.	cunts, rude grunts,
wall. so small	then, through Ten.	Phil, a will.
reat. or rape;

RELIGION - CULTS

said. she's dead.	thought, you're caught.	Dodd, the nod.
uncouth, his youth,	Dop, comet Hale-Bopp.	Hale-Bopp, be sought.
heard, purple-shroud-covered nerd.	Schlutz, of cults,	elect, Koresh's sect.
position, pristine condition,	two-bit, we druids,	sensation, your application,
June, the moon,	send, World's end,	Ike, they like.
die, the sky.	fail, bright tail	Diego, UFO fable.
Gate" fruity bald-pate.	Nation, good masturbation.	Hale, Holy Grail.
... easily led.	called, be enthralled	sup- rottweiller pup
dread; just dead.	Eddy, were ready	rule, limerick tool.
Erlander, cult propaganda.	hype, Scientology tripe.	religion, by definition.
Ron, wonderful con.	Ron, and gone.	Ron, on --
Ron, them on.	Vancouver, spew there.	Hubbard, he blubbered,
Hubbard, the cupboard.	sects, one suspects,

RELIGION - DEVIL

mention," "Our intention	behaved; bad trade.	affect, Nazarene sect.
fiery, liar. He	eyes; of Lies.	scum. I'm from.
haughty, the naughty?	drink, to think."	Brian, who's trying
gin, me in.	shocked, of Walpurgisnacht.	pitchfork, a dork.
seat, a beet.	Lucifer. his soup-ifer.	this, of bliss.
fray, a ray.	East, woman priest.	bloke, do 'coke'.
stray, Gentlemen prey,	guy; get high.	it. review it,
Youngs, his lungs,	Neville, did level.	revel, a level
beast; at least	son," some fun;	said, in bed,
start, for Gearhart.	clown; the town.	"Evil, thoughts medieval.
function, no compunction.	metre, our Peter	on, Soft John.
Glenfinnan, in him.	dreamin' a demon	clean. so mean.
majority," sole authority:	new, INCUBUS shoe.	Devil. I revel
chorus, named Dolores.	perch; the church;	jest, devil possessed.
fun. all done."	disguise? of guys?	Wayne, so plain.
six-six-two-oh-sIx, Satanic tricks.	Mell; was swell.	faults: Faust's vaults;
Achilles, Los Angeles.	dear; so near,	day, to pray
colonel, fires eternal.	meter; by Peter.	myth, of Smith,
respect; greatest effects,	Nick's, bad tricks,	confessed, was obsessed,
explain, of Pain,	request, Mr. West	spell, too well;
true! his queue).	mass? with class.	fornicate, sparring mate,
part, your heart,	Nevil, the devil.	Knievel, to evil,
way, me astray.	Satan, people's bacon.	true? behind too?
ditty, unto Tiddy.	floored, of Ward.	wrong, and song;
floored, of Ward.	pleas, consumate ease;	preacher, sinful feature.
apparel, oh Carol,

RELIGION - DEVIL - ZSERIES

this: visited Chris	times, evil rhymes.	souvenirs? in arrears.
day, own, SFA,	heard, the bird.	wet, will get.
ghoul, ghoul's tool.	demon, she's dreamin'.	devil, a bevel.
hell, a bombshell;	red. your head;	please. with ease.
white. to fight.	smiles; womanly wiles.	do. or two.
Fe, lucky day.	Mack, my back	rain, man insane
mud; the crud.	grin; goin' in."	face; this place.
dice; mothers advice.	in; a spin.	roll, ran cold.
door, the floor,	sins, from within.	stray, life's highway
ditty, unto Tiddy.	Hell, a belle.

RELIGION - FUNDAMENT

tells, air smells	touted, usually shouted,	plead: we need!"
pace, Iranians face	plan, one can	dismay; one way.
RIGHTEOUS, few inciteous	profess, astronomers guess.	sure, is sore
refrain, without stain.	said, been fed,	Coalition, fine tradition
bright, lived right.	Lovely, to flee	thump. to jump.
great, you hate.	Hurst. been cursed."	bugs; clergyman Suggs,
proclaim, the same.	say. say nay.	sinner. revivalist dinner.